Taming This Tyke's Voice Since 2007

longing

Mid-Air: my poem that inspired my daily photo-blog for the month of February, 2012

Mid-Air

(prologue)

The curtain of the night drops.

The howling of the wind

That echoes in the canyon

Cloaked the silence of closure.

Heaven sends its final greeting

In the form of raindrops

Kissing hope

Goodnight.

~

(act one)

Where do I start, or

Did it ever end?

Words left me, or

Was I?

Should I pick up from where I left, or

Simply move by?

Had I left the palette black, or

Was it white, or

Simply the absence of colors ~

My absence.

A temporary recluse,

A self-exile from

My drawing board,

My writing table.

The easel put away,

As I lament

A closure of the page.

A quiet epilogue

Amidst the fading light

And sound Of the rain

At twilight.

(act two)

Slowly,

The heart begins to pound.

A sign of life

Among the rabbles

Like walking dead

With no direction

Lost

(In the dark streets to nowhere)

And found.

Signs of the bread crumbs

Leading home

Are apparent

As the sun breaks

Through the ridges;

Tapering the edges of the shadow.

The sweet mist of last night’s rain

Kissed the deserted page

Where words will begin to form again

Like spring sprouts

That would bring splashes

Of colors

And rapturous sounds

To a heart coming back to life.

~

(epilogue)

Where things end,

And where they begin is undefined.

Where I stopped

And when I begin is not known to me.

Everyday I awake,

I breath.

That’s what I know.


Waiting For The Sign

Please Click sound button for the soundtrack >>>

 

Eyes  lie in wait ~

Day and night ~

Skies in surveillance

Waiting for the sign

That might be sent

From the future,

As the gentle streams of life,

And the rough currents

Of circumstances

That ever oppose

Mold the pebbles

In the bed of stones

By the river

Adorned by some weeds

Unimportant

Unknown.

"pebbles" pencil, pen and ink on paper by Jeques 2011

Awaiting for some hands

To pick them up.

 

Awaiting for some great minds

To give them names.

 

Unaccounted for ~

Remaining like a worthless bead

In the infinities ~

Awaiting for some gifted hands

To weave him

In the precious thread

Of chance, to adorn

Like a pendant

To rest forever

Closest to your chest.

 

Pick me from the infinities

And carve my fingers

With marks to define my distiction.

Paint my blank facade

With a face

And buy me a name.

 

Find me in the dunes.

You’d easily recognize me

Among the pebbles.

Look closely

And find in my eyes

Your own reflection:

 

Waiting for the sign.

 

 

 

 


Underneath Your Sheltering Canopy

~  

Under your sheltering canopy  

In the safety of your embrace  

Beneath your reassuring grip  

Certainty returns.  

Like the shadow of the clouds  

Passing by on a midday.  

Such fleeting moments  

Of alternating shadow and light:  

Long absence,  

Brief presence,  

And the silent anticipations in between  

Fuel hope, keep the heart pounding  

To reach another waiting shade  

Along the way  

To rest  

Underneath your sheltering canopy.  

"Ethan" is my Bonsai tree I planted when I was 13, he is now 24 years old.

"Portrait of Ethan" Pencil, ink and pen on paper by Jeques B. Jamora, 2010 ("Ethan" is my Bonsai tree I planted when I was 13, he is now 24 years old).

His Name Is Ethan

 His name is Ethan Yes, I gave him a name and his name is Ethan. 

I was called once to priesthood when I was in highschool, but I was expelled from the seminary after a year. Many are called, they said, but only a few are chosen; I was not. It was my first taste of rejection, and it was how my story with Ethan started. 

 His name is ethan I mentioned the seminary because I planted Ethan the summer after I was kicked out. I was 13 years old with wings broken. Nobody really cared to listen to my side of the story especially my father. My mother, as always, was there to console me ~ in silence. I was left alone in the corner to leak my own wound to heal. At that lowest point of my life, for a reason that I’m just beginning to understand now, God sent me Ethan to care. I always had some loner tendencies as a kid. That summer and years after that I became withdrawn, misunderstood. Gone was the child full of life, I fell down so low I never thought I could ever rise again. 

For more about “Ethan,” please click image below >>>

 

His name is Ethan

Hi name is Ethan, 24.

   

   

 


“Amistad”(Friendship)

 

"Amistad" Pen and ink on paper by Jeques(drawing and poem started while waiting for his flight to the Philippines, 02082010 and was completed and polished in his return to Chicago)

I searched your eyes

Amid the souls

That flock the streets

I travel.

 

Where were you?

 

Among the lips

That sipped the juice

Of simple joy

I offer

 

How would I single out

Your smile?

 

I ride the tides

To ambiguous blue

With hopes

To find you

 

Where were you?

 

The isles dissolved,

And lost my hope

To see you

 

Where would I find

Your waiting arms?

 

I climb the mountains

But the fogs had seized you;

I reached the summit

And you’re not there

 

Where were you?

 

When the rains

Washed away everything

Down the mountains

 

Would you catch my tears

In the streams?

 

I left the stars

And slept in the cradle

Of the waning moon

 

Where were you?

 

In dark nights

When dreams didn’t visit

My sleep

 

Would I catch a glimpse

Of you at daybreak?

 

I search your eyes

Amid the souls

That flock the streets

I travel.

 

I guess I’d be forever this way

Til the day I catch true friendship

In the eyes

 

Until the day

When fate lay on my empty hands

The gift of ‘Amistad’

 

Where were you?

 

Jeques, 2010. From his “Traveler’s Soliloquies” poetry collection.

 


Watch Me Fly

pencil and ink on paper by Jeques

A flyer

Perched, quiet

And resigned,

Watching you coquet

With the winds

And winged-deities

Flaunting.

 

I’ve Lost you in the skies

Countless times

For reasons unknown

And I don’t question.

Content of the little attention

Of few moments,

And gone.

Leaving me

For long days

Of cold hours,

And troubling dreams

In colorless nights, awake

Waiting.

 

A flyer

Perched, quiet

And resigned

Looking at the clouds 

And beyond

For signs

Of your return,

Anticipating

 

awkward starts

 

Timid stares

 

Chats in spontaneity

 

Endings that come swiftly

 

Shy divergence

 

Brief goodbyes

 

Parting touches that hesitate.

 

A flyer

Perched, quiet

And resigned

Content in the company

Of sheltering Canopy

That consoles.

Hanging on

To fibers of memories

Finding comfort

In tiny blooms;

Their lingering fragrance soothes

The aches of longing.

Vines that bridge

The absence

‘Til you’re back

To perch beside me;

Love abiding.

pencil and ink on paper, by Jeques

A flyer

Winged to soar

And suited

Daring heights ~

 

It is time.

 

In your return,

If you don’t find me

Perched as usual,

Look up to heavens

Where I belong ~

The flyer’s gone home.

 

Watch me fly.

 

Jeques, 2010. From his “Traveler’s soliloquies” poetry and artworks collection.

Postscripts:

I will be coming home to my country this month until April 2, 2010 for a vacation. I need this time to be in-touch with the navel of my journey to get hold of the loose end of entangling thoughts I struggle to find meaning. Perhaps in coming home I would find relevance in every tangled threads of thoughts, so I could move forth climbing mountains, daring heights with found clarity. I can’t wait February 10 to be home .

I wish you well.

 

~ Jeques

 

 

 

 


New York: What You Mean To Me

 

The places we visit are like peepholes we take a peek, revealing parts of a bigger picture of the journeys we take. This is what New York showed me. I visited the place for the first time last year, but it felt like I was there forever.

 

Land of childhood dreams

                                  Hedged in by enormous seas

                                                                           Damselfly alights

 

Have you ever had thought so strong it follows you all through life? I have. It is incessant and tarry as the  waves to the shore that come, and go, and come back in erratic intensity of currents taking me back, up, down and forth.

Years back, I wrote this haiku piece included in my Filipino Immigration collection and  New York, I have to confess, was the place in mind when I wrote it. I had a strong feeling even then, though I didn’t know exactly when, that one day I’m going alight on to its grounds like the damselfly and walk its streets where my dream arrived ahead of me. For somebody who lived in the other side of the world, it was a dream that for years I half-believed, but after January 17, 2009, with all my heart, I now do.

i-love-new-york-134

I first saw America in a postcard, in a picture of a snowy Time Square, New York and visited the place countless times in my thoughts. I’m not sure who owned that card, or who sent it to whom and from where, but I think of it now an invitation sent by my fate from the future to come to a place. An enticement I ignored, or perhaps I turned down at some point doubting possibilities, but the invitation ever haunting.

Years after, I arrived in Chicago and saw snow for the first time. I walked the streets in many snowy days, and my thought of the christmas card would return, unreeling in waves and waves of flashback  like an old film but the picture always incomplete, not until last year, when fate put me exactly in that old picture of the postcard I once viewed as a child. My dream and I converged in Time Square where all the elements conspired, and felt the snow the way the child thought it should feel melting on my face when I  arrive to answer that long time invitation.

i-love-new-york-012

I really thought my many years of incessant thoughts of New York ended when I finally answered its invitation. But I fear, No! I left many stones unturned with my brief weekend visit last year that continue to frequent my reveries, courting me with new angles of possibility. This is what New York mean to me now. For many years, it’s something impossible and far away, and when I reached to touch its grounds, it remained mystical and distant. I felt ignored during my visit. I even wonder it  noticed my presence. Perhaps it’s my fault for ignoring the invitation too long that fate have forgotten about the christmas card and didn’t recognize me when I finally stepped into the picture to answer its long time invitation.

 

I love New York

But it didn’t love me back

 

A love that endured

Years of dreaming

And wake up

To walk its streets

For fleeting moment

And temporary bliss

That dissolves

With its rushing time.

 

I chased you

In the fast lanes

Of my recurring dreams.

I run after your affection

In the weekend

I spent with you,

Unnoticed.

 

I love New York

But it didn’t love me back.

 

I contented myself

With passing glances

A vagabond

A tourist

A spectator

A stranger

A passerby

An audience

Until the curtains dropped

And the show ended

When day light shied away

From your night lights.

But that’s when I start to dream,

Again, where you become real.

 

Only in dreams

That I belong to you

And when I trully walk your streets

And leave marks

Of my footsteps

In your heart.

 

Tomorrow,

When you wake up,

I hope you recognize

My footprints

Among the many vagabond

That walked the paths

That meet in the intersection

Where dreams alight

And don’t dissolve

With the fumes

Of your heavy traffic.

 

Only then that my dream

Would really come alive.

New York is one of the places I visited that intrigued me to fathom its relevance to my journey. It is like a hole in a lock where a key would fit one day awaiting to be turned to reveal me many things behind the shut door. I doubt the possibilities no more when fate put me in that picture and walked the streets of the postcard of long ago that gave me the preview of what was to come and in fleeting moments became a surreal reality that weekend. I know I need to come back to complete the story and when I do, I would not leave a single stone unturned.

Our dreams may reside in many different places. Places that would speak to us in many different languages, giving us messages, revealing to us secret codes that would help decipher the mysteries of our journeys.  I wish my pictures would work like the old postcard did to me and reach the eyes and hearts of dreamers to invite, to entice and reassure that dreams still come alive if we believe. And I hope you would answer that invitation soon.

 Don’t make your dreams wait too long.

i-love-new-york-0671

Jeques at Stairway to heaven. Time Square, New York, January 2009

 

 

 

 

 


Mind Games and Coloring Books

 

Soar with me to heights unbounded,

Dreams go on and on

Defying concrete fences

Built by customs’

Narrow bounderies.

 

We can fly high and re-arrange stars

Put them to places we want them

Or take them home if we should,

Linger for awhile if we would

We are the law

In the mind games

I would play with you.

 

We’ll assign the stars colors

Give the comets names

Like we did in coloring books as kids

And for a moment we were  the gods

Controlling the the courses of the universe

As we please.

 

I’d like to wake you up

Where the lashes of the forests

Grew unruly,

Where litters are beautiful,

Orderly not good,

And neatness is not known

Under my decorated skies.

"our mirths" oil on canvas 36x36 by Jeques B. Jamora, 2009

I’d swim with you in the ocean

Where nobody drowns

And the raindrops swim with us,

Crown our heads 

Bejeweled with brilliant wreaths

As we emerge in the surface

Sharing mirths.

 

Let me invite you in a repast

From the bounty of my harvest

Where beverages flow no end.

We don’t have to worry

For the banquet replenishes,

And we don’t have to gain weight

For the body regulates itself.

 

Stroll with me in a leisurely walk

Where time freezes to four o’clock

When the sun is friendly,

The wind acquiesce as the crowd consenting,

And the perfumed path we chose

Under the canopy of greens and blooms

Ends in the sea where the sunset

Prepared us a breath-taking show

In the altar of the gods.

 

Let us hold hands

In the silence of the songs

That our hearts sing in unison,

Promising vows of forever

Witnessed by the dances of the dolphins

Recorded  by the ears of the ocean

Encapsulated by the infinite seashells

Strewn in the bed of sands

Of the seashore where our feet

Are planted in the grounds

Of a home we found in each other.

 

If I could have things my way

I would play mind games

And spend coloring books with you,

But if not,

Would you still love me?

 

Jeques, 2010


Home Sick In Autumn

 

What is there left to write,

When my sense of home has faded.

Fallen souvenirs pirouette in the air ~

Leaves dancing downwards ~ like specter.

The ink must wait, and rest til winter is over

(My spirit retires to quiescent under the covers)

Things freeze like the trees, even the lake dozes.

 

As wakeful hours become less and less,

Mind loses its bluntness,

The page speechless.

Distance drained my veins bloodless

Even the pulse of my pen ceases.

 

I’m losing grip of the eidolon of home, 

It’s warmth I no longer recall.

Like the trees losing their leaves to autumn,

The hands of memories that used to lift me,

For a time, fail to save my spirit to fall.

 

I let the cruel wanton winds to take me;

I trust the higher will would be kind.

I write my thoughts in the palms of the season,

I trust them to come back in time.

 

When my sense of home fills me up again;

When revenant of home,

Like eidolon,

Returns.

Jeques, 2009. From his “A Traveler’s Soliloquies” poetry collection.


Labyrinth

 

Fate dropped me

Bewildered in this forest,

Untamed,

Hazed with drapes of vines ~

Trying to find the answers

From this tangled passages 

Resolving the maze

To find my pathway

To you.

 

I stand before a forked path,

My head loaded

With question-filled sack

Keeping my balance,

Avoiding pitfalls:

 

To my right are hedges

Of thorn-filled,

Truth-concealing,

Tendril-climbing vines.

A single wrong move

Through their bowers 

Would cost me stings

From their spines of truth.

 

To my left, an inviting path

Strewn with petals,

Promising comfort

From gossamer of lies

Misleading me away

To dead ends,

To lost ways.

 

To my center is an easy way

To nowhere,

A direction that would lead me back

Here. To choose. Sooner or later.

 

If only your hand would reach out

From the bower of thorns,

If only heavens would send signal.

If only I could hear your heartbeats

Pounding from the other side.

If only, but . . .

 

Armoured only with longing,

I don’t know if it could shield me

To last the stings of truths

I would discover (I need to reveal),

To straighten the tangled pathway

That would bring you

And me, together.

 

Smothered with veil of tears,

I take the path to truth,

Taking chances

In the hazed bowers,

Following bloody hints

You left in the thorns,

Like trails of breadcrumbs,

As I soothe your pains in return

With balms of found answer

To our sacks of questions

I slowly unload from my head

Leaving them to mark the blind alleys

That would lead you

To me.

 

From separate spheres

In a labyrinth,

We clear a single 

Entangled passage

(Closer than we thought),

Daring to defy the easy way.

 

If that’s what it cost

To find our way,

I surrender to my fate.

 

To find my egress

To you.

 

—-

Jeques, 2009. From his poetry collection, “A Traveler’s Soliloquies”


I Will Circumvent

 

The heart knows another way.

If I should, I will.

 

I will circumvent  the distance,

I will bear the pain of longing.

Let it fuel me to endure

Long, excruciating voyages

Of this rescue operation.

 

Be my precious reward that awaits

In a rapturous morrow

I will build for us

With the muscles of my heart –

Only my heart – for that’s the ransom 

I promise to bring,

To buy your freedom.

 

I will circumnavigate

Desolate terrains.

 

Let your picture in my mind

Be the stars at night

So I would not falter

Even when darkness strips

The coat of my courage.

 

Let the memory of your smile

Melt me when solitude is freezing.

 

Let the songs of your touch

Bring back my equanimity

When I become anhydrous from your absence.

 

Let the echoing sound of your laughter

Be my beaconing light

To safeguard me from the mirage

And its deceitful promises.

 

Let me drink from the cup of your abundance,

Satiate my thirst with the precious

Liquid beads

We weaved together

In the festoon that ties us

In an invisible knot.

 

Before I leave,

Memorize this face,

But anticipate wrinkles when you see it again

For time will paint my empty fecade

With wisdom I will collect from my journey.

 

Hold my hands for the last time

And trace the creases of my palms.

My travel will harden them,

But know that its direction is defined

And points to a definite end.

 

Keep still,

Fear not the metal bars that separate us.

Trust the oil of our will, combined

To desolve this cage.

 

Stay where I leave you,

Hold the promise of my return.

And if distance is the only road

To the altar ~

 I will take the chance, If I should.

 

I will circumvent the earth,

Chase the elusive chance of our union,

To arrive where you are.

 

Be sentient of the genial whisks

When my breathing blows your nape,

And when my hand rests on your shoulder

They will hint my arrival.

 

Hands clasped,

Barriers desolved,

Together we will claim our piece of the skies

To our enraptured flight

 

We are free.

 

—-

In reference to my poem “Caged,” I thought the conflict was unresolved in that poem. “I will Circumvent” is the sequel to the poem.

Jeques, 2009. From his Traveler’s Soliloquies poetry collection.


Le coeur attend

If I strip off this mind and show you my thoughts, would you like what you will see?
If I open my heart to your view, would you like the pictures that you will see inside?
If I bare my soul naked to your eyes, would you ever learn to love me?
I clad myself with things that I thought you would like me wearing, but went home not recognizing my own reflection in the mirror, so I stripped myself off from the things that the world wanted me to be and view myself as I am.
I befriend my thoughts and got familiar with the terrains of my uncharted mind building my own empire in solitude.
I listen to the songs of my heart and memorized its lyrics as I study paeans of love that this heart dreams to sing for you.
I come to terms with myself, got to know the naked me, caressed the skin of my soul, accepted my flaws and learned to care for the lovely soul inside this body.
051609 012

"Le coeur attend" oil on canvas, 24x30 by Jeques B. Jamora, 2009

 ‘Tis when I fully understood the colors and the shapes and molds, and the forms, and the feel, and everything about my soul that I trully begun to learn to dress up. ‘Tis when I learned to listen to my heart’s songs that I was able to write his poetry. ‘Tis when I completely viewed my soul with all my senses that I was able to limn the images of the empire I inhabit in my mind reflected in the canvas like vignettes from the corners of my imagination.

 

Notice me.

For once,

Just be with me.

See my heart and soul

And let time

Stand still ~

 

Look at me.

Show me the spark

behind those eyes

That you would not

Reveal.

 

Talk to me.

Translate your silence

To words

So I would fathom

The tenderness

In your glances.

 

Write to me.

Send me letters

Of your heart

So you would fill

My empty page,

This void

In my chamber

That patiently

Awaits.

 

Visit me.

Anytime of day

While I’m awake

Or even in my dreams

In my hours

Of sleep.

 

Touch me.

Run your finger tips

On my longing cheeks;

Reach out

For my hands

Awaiting

For your reassuring

Grip.

 

Show me.

What’s behind

Those elusive eyes

So afraid

To stay still

Always looking away

From my direction.

 

Whisper to me.

I want to listen

To your heart

And hear

The language

Of your soul.

Let it speak.

 

Just for a brief moment,

Please look into my eyes,

Let time stand still ~

And be

With me.

(“Notice Me,” from the poetry collection of Jeques B. Jamora, 2008)

How do you like me wearing the fabrics of my soul and not the clothes that the world imposed on me to wear when I was younger?

If I tell you what’s inside this mind, would you like what you will hear?

If I tell you you’re part of the dots and lines I create, that you’re in my every brushstroke, each word, each line, in every piece of me would you even care to notice and listen?

If I tell you I weave my story around you, would you be interested to hear that story or buy the volumes of book I write in my mind about us?

 

Don’t be excited with what you now see,

Don’t love me for what I have so far shown.

Be excited with what else I could do ~

Love me for what more I can show you.

 

If I tell you that my thoughts of you reside with me in an empire, would you decide to live there ~

 

And if I tell you I build us home in my heart,

 

 

Would you come home with me?

 

 

 

~Jeques

.

.


While I Was Waiting

Waiting, I sit on the city’s park-bench

And observe the busy pedestrian

Like a parade, as time moves in a cinch.

.

Some images conjure up memories

Bringing pain back that feels like heart pinch.

Reminding me of sad journal entries.

.

Some happy thoughts, too, unreel in my mind

As strangers traverse the concrete walk ways.

Evoking flashbacks like films in rewind.

.

People swarm the makeshift stalls of flowers

Picking colorful blooms in varied kinds.

Their petal droppings are lovely litters.

But I doubt it would be conspicuous

To the eyes of a city street sweeper

Whose life a routine and contenuous.

.

A grain of sweat trickles on my forehead.

My body reaction is congruous

To summer heat ~ it shines like precious bead.

.

The sounds of busy traffic in the street

Subdue the past’s bells ringing in my head.

Years go on, but things hasn’t changed a bit.

.

And then, I feel light pats on my shoulder.

I see your face, my waiting is over.

When was the last time you paid attention to the details of life? ~ Jeques


Early Fall (Tula – a Pilipino poem)

~

Nalalanta ang mga halaman

Plants are wilting.

Nalalagas ang mga dahon

Leaves

At bulaklak.

and flowers descending

Natitigang ang lupa

The grounds are drying

Sabay ng pagtulog ng mga batis, ilog at lawa

As the springs, and rivers, and lakes fall asleep

Sa pagsapit ng taglamig.

With the coming of winter.

Sa kanilang pagkaidlip,

On their sleep,

Ang mga puno

The trees

Ay nadarapa

Take a bow

At babalik kung saan sila nagsimula ~

Returning where they came  ~

Sa lupa.

To the grounds.

At doon ay hihimplay

And ’tis there that they would sleep

Mag-aabang sa muling pag-agos

To await again for the ebb

Ng Buhay.

Of life.

.

Sa kanyang pangungulila,

On his longing,

Sya ay tahimik na maghihintay.

He will await in silence.

Tulad ko rin,

Like me,

Patuloy na umaasa

Continually hoping

Na muli kang babalik

For your return

Upang sa akin ay muling ialay

To give me back

Ang pag-ibig mo

Your love

Na nagbigay

That gave

Sa akin ng buhay.

Me life.

.

Sa unang pagpatak

On the first drop

Ng ulan

Of rain

Sa pagsapit ng tagsibol,

At springtime,

Muling babangon

The trees

Ang mga puno.

Will rise again.

.

Pipintig nang muli

My heart

Ang aking puso.

Would start to beat again.

Sa iyong pag-babalik,

In your return,

Ako ay mabubuhay ng muli ~

You will breath me life anew ~

.

Uusbong ang mga dahon,

The leaves would sprout,

Mula sa mga lanta na sanga ng puno,

From the wilted twigs of the trees

Ang aking pagmamahal

My love

Tulad din ng mga bulaklak

Like the flowers

Ay mamumukadkad.

Will bloom

At Iibig nang muli

And my heart

Ang aking puso.

Will love again.

~


The Fan

~

The dusts had finally settled

From the stage arena

Where the battle was fought.

One genuine soul is left,

And remained standing,

Triumphant with her gift

Of voice

Claiming the throne

That’s rightfully

Hers.

 

 

 

 

The smoke across the skies

Had finally desolved

To the thin air

Of memories.

.

The once fierce bolts

Of lightning

From different directions,

And the dazzling colors of fireworks

flaring in the evening skies

are now gone.

.

And in the clearest

Of midnight blue

Of the arched heaven

A STAR

Emerged

 

 

 

 

A new born modern-day warrior

Victorious in tears

Lightening up

The once dark horizon

With her inner brilliance.

 

 

 

 

 

 And I,

A fan,

Will always look up

To heavens

To admire,

To be inspired,

To dream ~

And wish upon her

Star

That my dreams,

Like hers

Will come true.

One would only feel, fully, how it is to miss home when he is away. I now understand. Since I left my country, it is also when I felt that profound longing for anything Filipino. So I always try to re-connect in anything I could, to be bathed by waves of nostalgia, to get a temporary relief of the aching longing for the warmth of home.

Entertainment has the easiest access, but I didn’t expect it to flood me with overwhelming sense of home, I’m just an ordinary soul after all, a spectator in the ground silently admiring the stars; I’m just an audience, a fan. I only have the mega star, Sharon Cuneta , to admire since I was 6 years old, for she gave my life positive influences with her lasting stellar quality that continue to shine as she age.

 And then, came this brilliant soul dressed in worn clothes, crooning me with her ethereal voice that’s undoubtedly from heaven drawing my eyes to her flickering light from the distance, beaconing my ears to take heed of God’s love sealed in her voice that transports me home. I obliged to her calling, I became a close follower, I became a fan. And placed me to the company of the many filipinos who shared our admiration for her – she introduced me to many filipinos from home and abroad and our interactions brought me closer to home in the many months we fought with her in her battles. All these ease my homesickness. The kindred souls I’ve met, with her singing voice as our soundtrack in the moments we shared watching her from the distance, became my extended family and I never felt alone again.  

On the first week that she was threatened to be expelled in the academy, I was in the church that sunday afternoon begging God to give her a chance for at least another week to share her haunting voice, her gift, her heart – God must have been laughing in heaven, for in the first place, it is His hands that took me among his gathered people to be used as instrument in putting Laarnie Losala in a place He planned her to be.

My prayers was granted more than I asked for when Laarnie was declared winner in the recently concluded Pinoy Dream Academy Season 2. I thought my life with her would end there, but NO! I am haunted by her voice, I am drawn back by people in this group that accepted me like a family. Dlight, is one of them. So, when she prod me to write, I obliged and this is it. Laarnie’s gift had rolled and multiplied showering us with inspirations – let the poets compose poems, let the writers write, let the artists create and let us all dance to the tune that God’s hands direct us!

Let us celebrate His gifts!

(click this YouTube video clip to listen to her sing. credits to the owner of the video stars01)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2R_vT-DNwc

___

 

 

 

 

 

 


Evanescent Romance (Sonnet)

~

We are joined by our hearts’ seeking radars.

Our souls converge at midnight’s starry skies.

We talk, our words are the infinite stars.

We feel so intimate with our closed eyes.

Our unions are chronicled by my pen.

The winds’ soft whistles signal your presence.

Your image flickers through my window pane ~

Silhouette of my dream-lover’s essence.

In my mind I touch the face of heaven,

When you croon to me lovesongs of silence.

Bliss is what my thoughts of you has given.

You illumined my lonely existence.

                         Romance confined in shadows of the night.

                         ‘Tis evanescent with the morning light.

~ Jeques

 


Summer, Gone

You came to bring me summer sunshine,

You left to leave me autumn gloom.

Like a speeding train,

Summer came

And Gone.

What happened to the vibrant days,

Where have my sunshine gone?

Why do the clouds just suddenly

Hid you?

My smile, don’t fade away

Please no!

Why do you have to give up

Your sunny yellow ~

Have I not brought

Your life some bright lights,

Why do we have to go apart

In blue?

Would the evening light

Sustain us

In this changing season,

Would it ease

The growing yearning

With its subdued

Glow?

I rest my heart

In this lonely season.

But I would keep our paths

Clear

Of grass growths.

May the railroad

That took you away

Would lead you

Back.

And when you’re tired

Chasing the changing seasons,

You could always return

To an endless

Summer ~

Here in my resolute

Heart.


Creating Festoon Of Memories

.

I select salient picks

From life’s garden

Creating festoon of memories.

.

.

I weave them in a tender thread

That binds us ~

.

The longing serves

As sturdy knots

In between. 

.

I choose

Stunning colors

To embellish the wreath

.

.

And hide the sorrows

Now and then.

.

I collect strands of thoughts

And shared laughter,

And tie them with ribbons

.

.

To mark each moment

That I take in.

.

Somehow,

Those conversations

Would ease the burdens

.

Of concealed pain,

‘Til we see

Each other again.

.

I’m weaving a pair of festoon

From colorful memories

Strewn in green:

.

One,

I will crown your head

Like wreath

.

.

Where the memories

Would always remain.

.

The other,

I’d wear like garland,
.
Around my neck,
.
.
.
.

It’s pendant

Rests on my chest

 .

Where love

Hides

Within.

~


Sunrise On The Ridges Of Concrete And Steel

I search for signs of home

In the arched-sky.

What I see are walls of concrete and steel.

I long for the warmth of a humid dawn

What I got is the chillly wind of the city.

I miss the morning laughter of home,

The cries of the iron birds taking off

From their concrete nest is what I hear,

Along the sleepless noise in the streets.

My nostrils take in whatever scent

That would bring me wave of nostalgia

What I have are the fumes of the busy traffic.

I need a single soul to remind me of home,

But he’s fast asleep in his room.

This is my saddest daybreak.

Watching a different horizon away from home.

And then it happened.

The sun slowly crawls behind those walls

And rises on the ridges of concrete and steel.

Its first ray catches the tears in my eyes ~

I see dazzling bright lights magnified.

And then I am enlightened.

Somewhere in southeast asia,

In one of the ‘lil isles of the Philippines,

This sun, in the same sky, in different horizon

Rises every morning at home.

And I carries the memories of those sunbreaks

For they are etched inside my chest.

Today turns out to be my happiest morning.

For I know now that the sun

I watch rising on the ridges of concrete and steel

Is the same sun that will rise tomorrow

In the home of my heart.

Only it will rise

On the mountain ridges.


Behind The Glass Window

behind that glass window

 

I still don’t know what love means the first time I saw you many months of June ago. From above, behind the glass window, I watched your every move below. I studied your every detail storing the moment in my memory which I kept all these years inside my heart. It would be a surprise for you to know that I still remember the clothes, the shoes you were wearing and the person you were with that day when my concealed tales of you started and endured many years. I opted to stay behind that glass window, I’m better off this way, you will never know my secrets for I will continue to watch you from afar and admire your every detail from the distance. In silence.

Something happened inside me that day. I fear losing the magical feeling so I kept it to myself ~ Somehow I have triumphed for the feeling always remains. Returning to memories, feeling that feeling again, reminiscing, opening the glass window of my heart, I still get a blush and my heart still beats faster everytime. It grows with me, it evolves as I go on, surviving the seasons, re-surfacing, re-emerging from my highs and lows in love. My safe place, my refuge and everytime I fall, I run back behind that glass window to watch my photographs of thoughts and I would feel better. The feeling endured many years of triumphs and defeats, of joys and sorrows. You are my true bliss, only I celebrate you alone. You are with me wherever I go, I have pronounced my vow to you in silence, I have kept that promise.

The world ’tis vast, ‘

tis graced with too many faces.

Many wouldn’t last and some few just leave some traces.

You are the face that I longed for and missed.

‘Tis your cheeks, your lips that I dreamt

To plant my first

Kiss.

The sun will continue to rise and set,  the days would continue to bring forth the cycles of the seasons that would grow new sprig of life, of hope and I will continue to believe, returning to memories celebrating my love behind the glass window.

new hope

Wherever time would take us in the face of the planet the sun would continue to shine upon us, at night the moon would keep the mystery of my secrets as I whisper my wishes upon the stars behind the glass window hoping one day my feeling would become transparent to you and you would see what’s inside this heart.

If forever means falling in love to the same person over and over again, then I must have found forever.

___

For Writers Island prompt this week: “The Return”

http://writersisland.wordpress.com

 Behind The Glass Window is part of my “Love Stories (Well, Almost)” collection.

https://jeques.wordpress.com/2008/05/17/love-stories-well-almost/


The Narrowed Road

Life taught me the hard lessons of parting early on. My first best friend was a classmate from childhood I met during my first day in grade school. I’m not sure how his name was spelled, but I remember it sounded like “Hanibal.” My memory of his name is as bleak as my memory of how he looks – I only have a blur image of a boy my age with a new haircut. But I remember the joy finding another young soul to share my thoughts when we first entered the door of education.

Our friendship begun as soon as our first class in grade one started. We met in a classroom that smelled of the mixed scents of fresh pads, newly plastic covered notebooks encased in our new school bags like our minds ready to be filled with knowledge. The smell of freshly sharpened pencil and scented eraser would always bring me back to that moment. I remember the fresh scent of soap when I bathed that morning excited for my first day in school. I forgot the color of the clothes I wore, but I still remember how my new shirt smells. The scents of these things always conjure nostalgic thoughts, reminding me of my first best friend I lost with the passing of time.  The places we reached and continually explore widen the spaces between us, and narrowed the road that once put us together at one moment in time. But in my mind we always share the desk, in that corner of our grade one classroom.

I was seated in the front row at the right side of the room next to him, a stranger just like all the other faces around me. It was fate that placed us seated next to each other, but it was our choice to become friends. The feeling of being left alone for the first time, drew us together. I feel at ease with his presence the moment we first introduced our names. We became friends before our first recess, and by the end of our first day in school, we have found in each other’s company the joy of real friendship. I cannot remember any other details of our days together, like I cannot recall anything more about him. I just know that he made my first day in school less scary to the surprise of my mother who anticipated the worse. I easily got over my separation anxieties and fear of strangers. I looked forward being back in school and always take home fun-filled stories at dinner time, telling my family about my newly found friend.

 

Morning comes and off it goes.

Like people come and (ouch!) they go.

For some brief moment they come my way,

But few are meant to stay.

Life’s lesson of letting go,

And memories remain with me.

Days passed. Our school activities progressed, school became my second home. But one day, I found myself unusually seated alone in our desk. My friend was absent when our teacher checked our attendance. I waited for him until recess, but lunch and afternoon classes came and gone without him. The same thing happened the next day and the days after. Our teacher some few weeks later changed our seating arrangement, making me vacate the desk we shared in our classroom where the emblems of our friendship vanished. I later heard their family moved to another place and he transferred to another school far away that my young mind then was incapable of reaching. I was assigned a new desk in the second row at the center aisle of the room after that and had new seatmates. From time to time I would glace to our desk wishing him back. My new seatmates are faceless and left my memory insignificant traces so were the other friends I had after we parted. I only remember one friend from my first day in school and he is my first real best friend.

 Life taught me early on that some perfect moments could go wrong. Friends come, but I could not expect them to stay, for like me, they too, have lives to live and journeys to complete. I am not sure if my friend remembers or would have the same thoughts. My friend may forget, but as long as I still know how the classroom desk smells he will always be remembered.

"Solitude" oil on canvas 24x30, by Jeques B. Jamora, 2007


Nostalgia(For Writers Island)

nostalgia1

“Nostalgia” oil on canvas, 30×38. By: Jesus Jeques B. Jamora, November 2007

I was born and I grew up in one of my homeland’s scattered islands, in the heart of the Philippine Archipelago. Our country is embraced by the sea; if God is the ocean, then He must have loved the Filipinos so much. We are constantly caressed by the sea waves come high tide or low tide,  the ocean enfolds us. We are generously showered by God’s salty kisses.

nostalgia6

 

Rare pearls of south sea

Strewn on far off  shores

Conspicuous gems.

(From my Filipino Immigration, Haiku Series #5)

The beach is one thing I miss about home ~ my walks in the sea shores, the brine touching my skin, the sand tickling the soles of my feet, the view of the open sea’s apparent horizon nourishing my dreams. I am now here ”beyond that horizon,” which I just used to watch in my walks in the strands.

Sometimes, you will never really know and understand a thing until you stay away from it. I now undertand better what I love about my country, and what I miss about home. The sea is one of them.

My earliest memory of the sea are the mangroves. These dense thickest along the rivers and the tidal shores was my first view of the sea. We live in the inland, so before I saw the endless emerald green seas under the azure skies, my young eyes was already captured by this mystical greens that lined the coasts and the river banks. There is something in their verdancy that transport me back in time.

Mangroves are time machines of my nostalgia for simplier, uncomplicated life of childhood. It brings me back to the summer of my youth, of my first boat ride, of  fishing, of hunting, of swimming in the pristine river brine. My happy thoughts and bitter-sweet longing for my first sunburn.

nostalgia5nostalgia2

Photographs from my recent home-coming to the Philippines.

— 

The Sea, You and Me

I’ve seen how everything are connected

That somehow we are one ~ interrelated.

As I tread the sands stretching to the sea,

And my size is engulfed by its infinity,

I watch in great wonder how God links things.

And How God connected you to me~

.

The seawaves gently kissing the seashores.

The shore that’s bed to the infinite sands.

The sand that reaches the roads, that lead me home.

The home inside my heart where you belong.

.

You are safe in my heart you are home now.

Today, as you open the doors, streets you will see.

.

Walk the streets, it will lead you to me.

The many winding roads take you somewhere,

To the beach, maybe.

The beach where the sands are gathered

Forming the fine strands kissed by the sea.

The sea that stretches reaching me here.

The enormous sea that links you to me.

nostalgia3

Thinking of the sea, painting the mangroves, feeding my nostalgia. When shall the salty sea-breeze of home ever kiss me again?

~ Jeques

nostalgia

 

 


Beneath Your Firm Grip

— 

2003, Philippines 

~ 

I am forever tracing in my mind

The creases in your palms,

When you pressed it close to mine ~

Your last strong grip,

Our last hand shake ~

Then we bade goodbye.

— 

2008, Chicago

We met again,

We said hello.

I anticiapated a hand shake

That never happened.

I waited.

And then,

In an unexpected moment

Your reach out your hand

For a hand shake.

I accepted.

In that brief moment

Beneath your usual firm grip

I trace the creases

In your palms I missed,

But they’re not there ~

.

We were wearing gloves.

‘Tis winter.

~


Sad Poems, Why? 2

I love to write sad poems, and read them. I may wear a happy facade, but I know inside me resides a lonely child. I find pleasure in keeping my tears in the corner of my eyes, and feeling that lump in throat while writing.

So I connect to that part of me by composing sad poems.

I nurture the fertile grounds of my lonely self to grow seeds of sad poems. I allow myself to chant sad hymns , if that’s what my soul wanted to sing. I listen, for that’s the path I should take to healing.

https://jeques.wordpress.com/2007/11/18/sad-poems-why/

open-ur-window-tome-075.jpg

Ronald’s window

You must go on, and I must go.

I would not be far,

I would be close to watch you.

I would be the bright lights,

I would be the stars to guide you,

I would be one with the winds

You would feel my touch

As I embrace and kiss you.

You will be safe here,

I would be near.

You must go on,

And I must go.

~

Wednesday

The day has come and gone

We waited and it arrived.

But then we let it drift away.

The day left us.

And now we await for its return.

We parted,

But like the seasons,

We hope.

Wednesday would be here

Tomorrow,

Even if love is not.

So even if we say goodbye

A hundredth times.

And wait a hundred lifetime,

Just keep the love,

Wednesday will lead us back home.

Tomorrow,

We would be fine.

~

No Painful Goodbye

I want to get out of your life quietly,

I don’t want any of those sad goodbyes.

I just want happy memories,

I don’t want us to part in a fight.

I want to go without you watching me leaving,

I don’t want to look back and see you cry.

So when the time comes,

That you would know I’m gone,

You would see trails of our brighter days.

I never left you in those memories,

For there was no painful goodbye.

~


Scents Of Childhood (Haiku)

Smoky scent of woods

Slowly burning at sunbreak

Of my childhood lost.

.
~ooo~
.

Ricefields smoldering

Scents of morning after rain

.
The sun is rising.

.
~ooo~
.

Salty ocean breeze

.
Caressing the hair and face

.
Of the grown up boy.

.

~0~

.

Sweet smell of cut grass

.

Brings the boy back to school grounds ~

.

Mirths of used to be.

~

I forgot to post this here, It’s from the thread I once created in another site.

Now, What scents remind you of childhood?