Taming This Tyke's Voice Since 2007

Fish Of Mind

My Genesis

~

I delight watching things from their outset,

I am soothe to see the genesis of things.

They remind me of the child, the curious eyes

Ever sparkling within.

 

I see beauty in simpleness of anything even at their lowly outset,

For they possess the genuine truth of precious purity.

They remind me of my beginnings

Like the water glorybinds(kangkong) growing wild in the marshes,

They bring back memories of the backyards

Of some houses I lived as a child.

Water glorybind, river spinach,swamp cabbage, whatever name you call it, for me its "Tangkong" Pencil, pen and ink on paper by Jeques B. Jamora, 2010

In some quiet afternoons during my untamed moments,

I would sit motionless in a corner facing the swamp in our backyard

Listening to the soothing sounds, the slightest of movements

In the still water at one o’clock

When the world in my young mind

Takes a nap with my mother on her siesta.

I would sneak out of the house through the backdoor

To celebrate the joy of my earliest  found solitude

In the company of nature ~

 

Befriending the dragonflies hovering over my head,

The birds nestling in the reeds,

The snails petiently taking thier journeys from one rock to the next,

While my mind quietly travels to the unknown future

Interrupted by occasional sightings of the gourami

That stir the still water creating tiny ripples on the surface.

 

But the highlight of the afternoon is the rare sighting of the mudfish(dalag)

Making that splash and swashing sound and wild movements

In the dense growth of the water glorybinds as it swims back to the bushes of reeds,

Where the water of the marshes is knee deep and the herons(tagak) nest.

That magical moment of brief beautiful chaos tickles purest joy of childhood madness.

 

Cherished memories from my genesis ~

My earliest form of entertainment: my humble version of television,

Or a theatre; watching a movie or a concert ~ my idea of a grand show

Happening in our backyard in an atypic stage, in a silverscreen of water glorybinds

Where the dragonflies, the frogs, the birds, the gourami, the snails, the herons, the mudfish

Are the stars, and I, their sole audience.

 

The show ends with the voice of my mother calling my name at four o’clock.

That’s when the curtains drop,

The world wakes up,

As I walk back home to the door of my genesis.

"The Dragonfly and I"

 

 —

Jeques, 2010. From his “Traveler’s Soliloquies poetry collection.

 

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Bait

 

You are always ripples away,

The tides ever

Between us.

 

Series of hurdles

As it appears in the surface

That this meek soul

Secretly transcends beneath;

Away from the prying eyes

Of predation.

 

You are designed

For cruel intentions,

That is how the world sees you.

But for the many years

That I followed your lead,

I learned to give your purpose

A different meaning.

 

I am grateful

To the hands that keep my safety

Disguised in undulation ~

Of the sudden swell of  waves between us.

Oftentimes your absence disheartens me,

Scared of losing you to the crest of tides, 

But reassured to see you still there

When the morning after 

Calms the bubbling surfs,

That in many occasions pushed us apart.

 

I praise the hands that hold

The mysterious fishing pole

And for chosing you the bait,

And thank time, too,

For helping me understand.

You are the reason

Why I swim the extra laps;

Take another stroke,

No matter how helpless

My frail attempts ~

Against the raging currents ~

Just to be near you.

 

Reason that I doubt,

The world’s shallow definition

Of predator and prey 

Would ever come to comprehend.

 

Your lead brought me to the deeps,

You are the pivot that draws me to the blue;

A hope that keeps my buoyancy,

And not sink in the ocean,

In the heart of possibilities.

 

When are you going to consume me?

 

~

(Follow the lead of your dream, trust the hands that hold the fishing pole and His design where the bait is going to take you. ~ Jeques)

Jeques, 2009. From his “Traveler’s Soliloquies” poetry collection


A Prelude To A Million Dreams

My creative muse prompts me to begin writing on a fresh page as I start a new process of knowing. This is the time of my life when I do things because I feel like doing them. Like, I write because I would like to read my thoughts tangible in words taking form written on pages, so I would get a better grasp of them.

to-the-deeps-0151

Like the damselflies of my childhood, I don’t chase my thoughts anymore now that I’m grown up. My mind, like my palms to the damdelflies, I will open so dreams and thoughts could freely alight to show me their beauty. I will befriend this elusive guests instead of running after them like I did during my reckless youth. Perhaps this way, I could encourage their frequent visits.

"to the deeps" #1, oil on canvas by : Jeques B. Jamora, 2009

To The Deeps

At midnight

When half the world is asleep,

The prying eyes of the nocturnal owl

Stay alert for mice dozing undergrownds.

."to the deeps" #2, oil on canvas by : Jeques B. Jamora, 2009

A turtle slowly prowls in a swamp

Disturbing the resting fishes

On the shallow waters.

."to the deeps" #3, oil on canvas, 20x20 by : Jeques B. Jamora, 2009

Somewhere, you are confined

Asleep in your room dreaming.

While I stay awake questioning.

.#to the deeps" #4, oil on canvas, 20x20, by : Jeques B. Jamora, 2009

Am I part of your dreams tonight?

Would I take part in your life

When you awake in the morning?

.to-the-deeps-010

The night ends

With the owl catching no mice.

The fishes has gone to The deeps,

But the turtle hasn’t reach where ’tis going.

Just like me with my doubts never fading.

."to-the-deeps" #2 and 3

But nevertheless always wishing

That one day I’d stop questioning

And to The deeps I’d just let the fishes

Swim.

"to-the-deeps" #3 and 4

Unhurried thoughts and dreams come pellucid like the reflection of the summer skies on a placid river. I aim to write my thoughts that way: to achieve such clarity. These thoughts, my dreams reflected on pages as I allow the readers to grasp them like viewing the river and the skies on a clear summer day.

But sometimes, words are just ain’t enough. There are thoughts and dreams conceived that come in defined shapes, definite forms and rich colors. So I capture them in sketches. Such thoughts and dreams come alive on pads as my pen and pencil give them skin and the ink give them blood and the images from my mind come throbbing alive in sketches.

But then again, oftentimes, I am haunted by vivid dreams and thoughts that not my pen and the pencil nor the ink are enough to breath them life, to bring them the colors like the coquettish fishes flirting my mind with their exotic dance moves in the river where my mind often hovers. They demand to be born and inhabit the canvas, and only my brush strokes could give them soul, only the pallette could bring to life their hued reflections flickering in my imagination ~

Conspicuous in light and shadows.

This is the time of my life when I am fully in touched with my creative muse and the river of my mind is on its calmest state, where any minute movements are reflected that could stir ripples of dreams, and rapture of colors like the blossoms in springtime. The pages and the pads and the canvas are like the verdant fields where my dreams bloom. They are like the river in my mind where the fishes swim to the deeps in their coquettish dance moves that preludes to a million dreams.

The damselfly is within reach – I am taking time to appreciate his beauty as he hovers and I, motionless wishing the damselfly would soon alight in my palms.

Who says that dreams are black and white?

oil on canvas 20X20 by : Jeques B. Jamora


To The Deeps

 At midnight

When half the world is asleep,

The prying eyes of the nocturnal owl

Stay alert for mice dozing undergrownds.

.

A turtle slowly prowls in a swamp

Disturbing the resting fishes

On the shallow waters.

.

Somewhere, you are confined

Asleep in your room dreaming.

While I stay awake questioning.

.

Am I part of your dreams tonight?

Would I take part in your life

When you awake in the morning?

.

The night ends

With the owl catching no mice.

The fishes has gone to The deeps,

But the turtle hasn’t reach where ’tis going.

Just like me with my doubts never fading.

.

But nevertheless always wishing

That one day I’d stop questioning

And to The deeps I’d just let the fishes

Swim.

Jeques B. Jamora, 2007

Fish Of Mind, oil on canvas, 30×38 By: Jeques B. Jamora, 2007

The Deeps is the English term for the Hebrew Tehom, found in the opening verses of the Book of Genesis. It is believed by Biblical scholars to come from the Sumerian word Tiamat, the name given to the Salt Water, and means “The Mother of All Life”, (from Sumerian “Ti” = Life, “Ama” = Mother), a title that in the Bible was later given to Eve. (“And the man called his wife’s name Eve, because she was the mother of all living” – (Genesis 3:20).

               

Jeques B. Jamora
Love, “Fish,” Hope, oil on canvas By: Jeques B. Jamora, 2005
 —

Ripple

look what you did to me

photograph of my pond back home

An errant bird stirred the steady water

Of the desolate pristine pond

Creating ripples.

.

The tiny currents sent genial waves

To my dormant heart.

.

Errant bird of my 30’s

Look what you did to me.


Fish Of Mind

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Fish Of Mind” Oil On Canvas 30×38, By: Jeques B. Jamora, Oct. 31, 2007. 

 ~

Last October 18 to 21, I attended a weekend get together and met up with my classmates and friends from college for our class reunion. It is just so unfortunate that a lot were not able to make it to the gathering. But it was a great moment for updates to reconnect the spaces and distances that time built between us as we move forth to our individual life affairs. Many Changes, and it is good to note that most of this changes are for the better. How years pass swiftly and we are in our mid 30’s now. But friendship remains. Inside, we are still kids at heart like we used to be.

In every gathering, taking pictures is a must and we did. Saved in my camera are the photographs of my paintings which I show to them and Ronald, our MD classmate finishing his Nephrology specialization At the University of Illinois Chicago Medical School became interested. We stayed in his new condo unit in our last night. The empty wall of his living room is a perfect space for a painting. We talked about his planned color for his place. I asked what are the things that relax him? Water, fishes, blue. I instantly have something in mind.

We had a great weekend. I coined a line to encourage and remind everyone to seize the moment and enjoy: “We will not be 35 next year!” It was fun like the old time, back in college ~ simple life, big dreams. Most of my classmates are now living their dreams and its inspiring.

I wasted no time. I started the painting I promised Ronald the following week and finished it October 31. I thought of calling him to pick up the painting by the end of the month, but November 3, the paint has barely dried from my finishing touches, and my painting is gone. Ronald dropped by my place to pick up the first painting I’m giving up in Chicago last saturday. I am happy to give it away to the person who first encouraged me to join a painting contest back in college. I told him, its my marketing strategy. He will be a Doctor with wide range of clients soon, my painting could get a good exposure in his place. I even reserved a space in his future clinic wall to display my painting. I am just thinking ahead.

“We are too small to understand

The mysteries of life.

We are but a ‘lil piece

Of God’s infinite creations.

We depart to arrive;

we leave to come home.

‘Tis great to wake up

In the morning ~

Especially when you’re home.

~

Before we parted ways, we planned already the next reunion. I hope next time the gathering would be in greater number.

I see fulfillment written in my classmates’ faces. Much has been accomplished in the years that we journey after college. I can’t find material things to make them any happier. So I just wish them, “Fish Of Mind.”

~ Jeques