Taming This Tyke's Voice Since 2007

Once a Cub

Tamed

by:  Jeques B. Jamora

A free-spirited cub

Laid in the holy slab

Donned by my mother white.

A willing sacrificial lamb

To get the approval of my father.

 

He offered me in the altar

To fulfill his promise,

To pay his dues

And left me waif outside a shut door

Of a dome I din’t belong.

He dropped me off the road, unknown,

To a journey never understood.

A life he ordered me to live,

Without a map to follow

And lost myself along the way.

 

I strayed into the wilderness,

Cruel and unforgiving,

Like a vulnerable cub

Bullied by laughing hyenas.

There was no armor

To shield me in the battles

I didn’t expect exist

Inside the dome

That I thought was holy.

I was an easy prey

To predators in school

And the obloquies of my father

When I returned home.

 

The life raft

I thought I could cling on

In times of storm

Pushed me away,

Drifting, hitting rocks in the shores

That would not welcome me.

I sustained wounds

That bleed from inside

Nobody understood

I leaked many years

In silence to healing ~

To  nurse the white cub inside me

And make myself whole again.

 

I was a reject at 13

A loser at such a young age.

A picture of defeat,

Expelled from the dome

That many thought

Would determine my future.

The once free-spirited cub

Suddenly became a pariah

Retiring to his digged burrow

Leaving behind no egress,

Descending farther

Into the dark night.

 

I tried to mimic the hyenas

For awhile to earn my protection

From the harsh world.

A symbiosis I welcomed

Like the anemone

To a clownfish taking shelter

In its stinging tentacled folds

While I build my backbone,

Training my fins to swim

And find the lost me again.

nagpangita ko nemo  25 ginpangita man ko nemo

 It was a moment

I’m not proud about,  and remorseful.

I feel for the souls I stung with words,

For who could understand them better

But me who once was a dartboard

Of ridicules of the hyenas.

I’ve learned to sound like their laughter

But never become them.

For inside me  is a wounded crying cub

That I  heard more clearly

When I chose solitude.

 

I didn’t belong to any herd

And refused to take their colors,

For I chose to become a new breed 

That grows its claws

Not to harm, but to protect.

To weave words not to distroy

But to re-build the broken spirits. 

 

It took me years to understand

Like the clownfish to survive

Free of my imaginary anemone.

It took me awhile to recognize

The true sound of my laughter

Muted by the loud hyenas.

In solitude I redeemed my voice

I once lost with my desperate attempts

To seek the approval of my father.

 

I swam the ocean, arrived in the shore 

That my creator intended me to be

And found the white cub still clad in white

His mother once donned him,

But now grown

And tamed.

 tamed original

~
We are forever kids to the eyes of our parents. To my late father, I was forever a child he never thought would grew up different from what he expected.

We may disappoint our parents in some way, like I disappointed my father for not becoming what he wanted me to be, but I think it is innate for us children to try to become better people to get the approval of our parents the best we could.

This is in memory of my father, for his birthday. He may have not approved the roads I took during his life, I pray that wherever he maybe right now, he would look down to see that I found my way.

Happy Birthday to the late Leonardo D. Jamora

I wish you well, everyone.

~ Jeques



Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s