Taming This Tyke's Voice Since 2007

Pentimento

I pulled the curtains open

To the side;

Adjusted the window blinds

To summon the air

And the light’s entry

From the outside.

The panes, I opened it, too

Pushing them to a smooth slide.

I turned the door knob, unlocked.

Pushed the screen door open,

The brass gate, I opened it, too

Breaking the barriers

I once used to sugar-coat my fears.

‘Til there’s nothing left

That would block your view

Of me, standing naked.

Vulnerable.

Unafraid.

Repentant and accepting.

The world could kill me with assaults,

But I would not regret dying

For not wearing anymore

The thick armor of pretense.

There was once a voice

Succinct and free, but muted

By the noises

Of too many influences

Trying to run a life that I should maneuver ~

Voices telling me to do this, and that.

I made too many mistakes

From reckless strokes in the past.

I am a celebration of imperfections.

Countless missed lines and dots

Marked my early life’s drawing pads.

I picked wrong crayon hues

For my early life’s coloring book.

Misspelled words on my journals;

Grammatically incorrect

And mispronounced statements.

But more than that, they were not really my thoughts,

For I was just a parrot speaking words

I was taught to say.

In many years, I struggled

To break free from these chains

As a non-conformist.

Piece by piece, I pared each chain

To unravel the voice over-shadowed

By the loud tumult outside me,

Hearing him in stillness.

Finding him in state of calm.

The feigned colors that for a time

Concealed my real form,

And gave me a sense of safety

Are now becoming translucent

Revealing the original hues

Of my true figure beneath.

This is me

I didn’t recognized ~

A waif even to myself ~

For a while,

Found.

Opening myself

To your view

In Pentimento.

Self-Portrait of The Artist Jeques At Work

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