Taming This Tyke's Voice Since 2007

Thank You

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This is the piece I delivered during my father’s necrological rites- Roxas City, Philippines (January 19, 2008)

It is not easy growing up and sharing the attention of my father to his work and the community he is passionate to serve. We grew up asking why his time outside home is always seem more important, and why between us and other people, he always seem to prefer to be with the later. We grew up keeping this question in our thoughts and in our hearts even from my earliest memories.

When I was a child, about 4 years old, I saw for the first time a helicopter. It was a rare occasion that I was with papang because it was mamang’s graduation day. We were in the middle of an excited crowd, among people anticipating the arrival of the helicopter. He spoke with his students and other people we met as we continue our way through the sea of strangers in my child’s eyes. I feel so small holding on to his hand, when suddenly we heard loud sounds mixing with the noisey commotions of the crowd signalling the arrival of what we have waited. The people around us was in chaos. Papang, so absorbed talking to people forgot about me and my tiny grip lossing me in the crowd. I was scared crying as I drifted in the turbulent  ocean of strangers. I have vague memory how I was found in that middle of chaos, but the memory would always haunt me til these days.

We understand growing up that we will never have the full attention we yearned from papang – our family always have to share him with his world outside our home. And between us and them, our family always have to take the back seat in his life. Perhaps the reason for my wanting to achieve something is my unconcious effort to catch his attention.

I always consider papang as the sky in my life – distant, but is an authority. I think this is true for all of us his children. We strive to be better persons because we don’t want to fail him.

As I listen to the inspiring words from voices of the different organizations he took part and people he worked with and served, I am beginning to link his absence in our life growing up to the time he spent with some of you present today – you are his world outside our home. I understand.

As I look at the crowd now, I remember again my first view of the helicopter. I now have totally lost my grip to his hand. But I’m not scared and I don’t feel lost anymore. I feel not alone anymore with your presence.

On behalf of Mamang, who is most affected by this lost and our family, I would like to express our gratitude to all of you for honoring my father. We believe he is more than deserving with all his sacrifices to be true to his calling for service – even if we his faimly is part of the sacrifices.

Thank you for being with our family to honor the man who forgets his family and even himself all in the genuine spirit of service. It did not make us rich but as I look around, I am grateful that our family is blessed with many friends. I believe papang from above is watching and feel fulfilled with his life’s journey.

Thank you for all your precious presence here today to share our sorrow. All your kind gestures lighten our grief. We find comfort in your kind words, and warmth with your presence in this moment of cold.

Thank you to our family and relatives to share express our love.

Thank you to all the priests who offered masses. I can imagine how happy papang must be somewhere watching. The masses offered has delivered him door to door to heaven.

Thank you to all of you who are here present to be with us to send him off to the place where he would be reunited with God he loves.

Thank you to all the people who for some reasons were not able to make it here today, but are with us in their thoughts and their prayers to ask God to welcome Leonardo D. Jamora’s arrival in his arms, in his love, home in heaven.

 ~

You must go on, and I must go.

I would be near, I would never leave you.

I would be the brilliant star to guide you.

The breeze to kiss you.

 

You must go on, and I must go.

~ 

Finally, we would like to thank God for giving us the treasure that is papang – now that we are about to return him, we appreciate more the gift. The people gathered here are living proof how much hearts were touched by his life.

Please don’t forget papang. His immortality lies in the memories that you would keep alive in your hearts.

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16 responses

  1. Those are beautiful words Jeques. I’m so sorry for your loss.

    AM00000020000003229 10, 2007 at 12:00 am02

  2. Robin,

    Thank you very much. It is one of the hardest pieces I have to write. I’m coping.

    I wish you well.

    ~ Jeques

    AM00000020000004229 10, 2007 at 12:00 am02

  3. I am so sorry for your loss.
    Losing a parent is a very difficult emotional tragedy.
    hang in there Jeques.
    Your eulogy was beautiful.

    AM00000030000002529 10, 2007 at 12:00 am02

  4. I’m not sure but I think this is my first visit to your blog.
    This is beautiful and I know your Papang would be proud. ((HUGS)) to you, going to get some kleenex now.
    beautiful…

    AM00000040000002929 10, 2007 at 12:00 am02

  5. Jen,

    Thank you very much. You’ve been here in my web nook before, read some of my pieces for the writers island, and even left comments. Maybe because I change some of my nooks images that you’re unable to recognise it anymore. I’ve been away for 3 weeks and I’m glad to be back and hearing from you.

    Thanks again.

    I wish you well.

    ~ Jeques

    AM00000040000004929 10, 2007 at 12:00 am02

  6. Lucy,

    Thank you very much for your kind words. I find comfort in them. I’m coping.

    I wish you well.

    ~ Jeques

    AM00000040000004629 10, 2007 at 12:00 am02

  7. Jeques, I found this so moving. How you managed to control your emotions whilst delivering such a heart felt piece I cannot imagine. Good to see you back. I missed you.

    PM00000020000000429 10, 2007 at 12:00 pm02

  8. Keith,

    I reached a point that I don’t cry anymore. Somebody has to be strong in the family, I am. This piece is one of the hardest I have to write. My niece recite the poem part. It took me some time writing this, I completed the piece the morning of his burial.

    You know what reminded me of the helicopter part? When I arrived in my hometown, there where 3 helicopters in the airport. There were military officers who were with us in the plane and the helicopters were there to welcome them – coincidence. It worked for me.

    I missed you, too.

    I wish you well.

    ~ Jeques

    PM00000030000004529 10, 2007 at 12:00 pm02

  9. tol, ayoko sana mag-comment. kahit na nung napansin ko na umuwi ka nga. i had the same thing kasi on my first year here in the states. that year, we lost three. it started with an older brother July 2001, we all went back home. then october same year my dad. we went again. february 2002, another brother. in a span of 7 months, we lost three.

    while it is hard to give comfort to somebody who lost a loved one, all we could do is try. and i could imagine how you feel.

    but believe me bro, while nothing could ever replace a life, just let time heal thyself. eventually it will.

    PM00000090000005629 10, 2007 at 12:00 pm02

  10. Buraot,

    Who could best give comforting words but somebody who understands. Thank you very much. I have surrender our healing to God.

    I wish you well.

    ~ Jeques

    AM00000010000004429 10, 2007 at 12:00 am02

  11. damyantig

    I loved your writing, Jeques.
    On another note,..after your loss, it is time for me to face one…my dad-in-law is passing slowly before my eyes for nearly a month now. I am glad you are a little recovered now, and I hope I have the strength to cope with things just as you have had these past weeks.

    PM00000070000002229 10, 2007 at 12:00 pm02

  12. Damyantig,

    Thank you very much for your visits in my web nook and for leaving such beautiful comments.

    I am sorry about your father-in-law. I understand how hard it is. We just have to learn to accept that their passing is their passage to reunite with God.

    I hope I know the link to your website so I could visit your works.

    I wish you well.

    ~ Jeques

    PM00000020000000429 10, 2007 at 12:00 pm02

  13. damyantig

    I do visit your blog whenever I can, not been a regular the last few weeks because I did not have constant internet connection. My blogs are:
    http://damyantiwrites.wordpress.com
    http://amloki.blogspot.com

    AM00000070000005229 10, 2007 at 12:00 am02

  14. death is freedom somehow, jeques. another’s life needs to end for another’s life birth. but the memory of your father will not die within you, it will be waiting for you and its there when you need him the most. i must say, that your father during the times he is alone, he thinks of you. and maybe, he is not the type of person who express his emotion susch as you are. but what you have become, it links to your father’s heritage.

    jeques, you are a good son. any father would want you to be their son.

    PM00000090000001630 10, 2007 at 12:00 pm09

  15. Marvin,

    Thank you very much for such touching words – I was never close to my father. I was forever trying to prove him wrong of the impressions he had about me. He is the greatest force that blocked me as an artist, the greatest bully who bruised my self esteem and made me believe that I will never go far – in many years I have thrive to shine under his shadow – if not for some people who helped rescue my self esteem, I would have never gone where I am today – he was so selfish giving me reassurance that I’m doing good and at least recognize me to be a good person even in his death bed.

    Two hours before he went into comma, I was talking with him in the phone and I was asking him if he wants me to come home, but he coldly opposed the idea. I was far far away when he died – I still think until now he wanted us that way. But I’m still grateful because it is his being distant that I built my character and survive life in total independence. Learning to find myself the hard way free of his influence had me define myself better knowing indside me now that I am a good person contrary to what my father thought I am.

    I wish you well.

    ~ Jeques

    AM00000010000004930 10, 2007 at 12:00 am09

  16. jeques, i was speechless when i am actually reading this comment of yours. i cannot believe how distant your father is to you. have you forgiven him already? you need to, because you need to move on. now i understand the hardship that you went through without your father’s love. it must be so hard a fight you’ve been through.

    i can symphatize with you of how you felt with your father. you can read my blog “white flag” filed under archive Sept 2006. may i lift somehow your spirit on this one. and may i join hands with you in these difficult times on the path of forgiving and surrendering to the unconditional love that we can give to our fathers and to ourselves also.

    PM000000100000000530 10, 2007 at 12:00 pm09

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