Taming This Tyke's Voice Since 2007

But I [Just] Ain’t

~

If I were an angel,

I would shield you from pain.

For the great love I feel,

I’d carry the burden.

.

 

But I [just] ain’t, I’m just a friend.

.

 

If only I have wings,

I would fly you from here,

Take you away from your fears

I would wipe off your tears.

.

 

But I [just] ain’t, I’m just a friend.

.

 

If I am your lover,

I’d give you all that I have ~

My precious time, my presence,

My unconditional love.

.

 

But I [just] ain’t, I’m just a friend.

.

 

A friend hoping to give all that.

Praying that soon you’ll find all that.

 

And wishing I am your angel.

~

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10 responses

  1. Very nice :)…

    If I was an angel.

    AM00000080000002831 10, 2007 at 12:00 am12

  2. Sonu

    Fantastic. Sometimes, a few words are enough to express what you feel while sometimes even volumes and volumes can’t identify a single emotions.
    I like this one. It just expresses the right kind of emotions!!!

    AM000000100000004131 10, 2007 at 12:00 am12

  3. brightsilentthought

    This is a very lovely piece. Its power lies in its simplicity. If I may, I would like to suggest that you try writing it using the conditional. I think it may attain an even better flow that way.

    “If I were….
    I would…

    …soon you would find…”

    Do you see what I mean? Its just a suggestion, feel free to ignore it.

    All the best,
    M.

    PM00000020000005431 10, 2007 at 12:00 pm12

  4. brightsilentthought

    I’m very interested in your phrase “…I [just] ain’t…”

    The square brackets suggest some kind of isolation, as well as the insertion of a foreign element into the context. Then by isolating the word ‘just’, you seem to be knocking down the sense of isolation, because it is a word that can imply ‘nearness’ or ‘closeness’, as well as distance (in South Africa we use ‘just’ in the phrase, ‘just now’ to mean ‘almost now’, whereas in the UK, ‘just now’ means ‘in a while’). It can also suggest commonness “that is just an apple” – you wouldn’t say “she is just my girlfriend”.

    So, its very interesting that you’ve isolated this everyday term that signifies the Normal. I think this makes the poem quite ‘deconstructionist’ (probably the wrong use of the word here, but I don’t know much about deconstruction, although I find it an interesting way of thinking).

    On reading it again, I get the feeling that by isolating ‘just’, you’re also emphasising it – it almost gives the word a desperate tone, as if you had italicised it. As if you’re saying, ‘I’m not’ in a very frustrated voice. But you’re hiding your frustration, isolating it behind the wall of the square brackets. Very interesting technique.

    Lastly, I find ‘ain’t’ a particularly interesting choice of word. Its not a form commonly used in South Africa, so I feel it makes the piece stand out strongly as an “all-American” work. This is great.

    A great work.
    Cheers.

    PM00000020000003431 10, 2007 at 12:00 pm12

  5. Sabature,

    Yeah, if only we’re angels. But we can be angels to people. Though without wings and haloes, there is an angel in disguise in everyone of us.

    Thanks for dropping by my nook.

    I wish you well.

    ~ Jeques

    AM000000120000001131 10, 2007 at 12:00 am12

  6. Thanks Sanu!

    Your sensible comment gave me a valuable feedback and I’m inspired by your words. Thanks for dropping by my nook.

    I wish you well.

    ~

    Jeques

    AM000000120000000131 10, 2007 at 12:00 am12

  7. M,

    I’ve read the comments you left on some of my works, thank you very much! I am humbled by your words, I am honored by your regular visit in my nook. I would be very busy this weekend for I would be working long hours, so I will get back to you maybe sunday afternoon, American time. Until then.

    I wish you well.

    ~ Jeques

    AM000000120000002931 10, 2007 at 12:00 am12

  8. M,

    Greetings!

    Your inputs are very helpful. I wrote this poem a couple of years back. This is one of the poems I wrote that reveal itself in my thoughts title first. It was in “Tagalog” (the Philippines’ national language) when it started playing in my mind: “Di lang talaga ako e.” or could be plainly translated to english: “I am just not.” And you’re right, there is a certain frustration in the emotion I was trying to express in this piece. You know the feeling of being close, but not quite. That’s how it was. I, too, love the contraction, “ain’t” of “am not,” so I used this here. I know it is a nonstandard but the sound and the meaning it implies is just perfect for the feeling I was trying to express. I was close to becoming and angel to that person, but not quite.

    “I [Just] Ain’t”

    I wish you well.

    ~ Jeques

    AM00000010000003631 10, 2007 at 12:00 am12

  9. jeques, this is such a beautiful poem of sorts, i like the style. this poem reveals a lot about your views on relationship. and for you, friendship fills only a part of that longing, not in whole.

    PM000000110000005231 10, 2007 at 12:00 pm10

  10. Marvin,

    My relationships in the past are all platonic – I always draw a line and that’s friendship. And then it’s so hard to step beyond that line, it’s even harder when a friend does and you don’t know anymore where friendship ends and love begins.

    I wish you well.

    ~ Jeques

    PM000000110000002831 10, 2007 at 12:00 pm10

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