My Daily Letter To “You” #5
Space. There is something in the blank space that scares me.
I used to write my thoughts in notebooks that serves as my scrapbook at the same time when I was still in the Philippines. And everytime I start on a fresh page of a new notebook, it’s so hard for me to find words and ideas to write. What happens next are days of empty pages. And I would feel guilty.
I’ve come up with a solution to that. That’s why my notebooks are scrapbooks at the same time. I go over my colection of clippings from magazines and newsapaper to fill those empty spaces until a spark of idea appears and I could write again.
I used to write every morning in my notebook and I love it. That’s why I feel so guilty since I moved here and stop writing. The first thing I bought from my salary is my Vaio laptop computer for the reason that I wanted to go back to writing. But the blinking curser and the blank space is forbidding. In months that I have zero written outputs, I went back to painting. After I finished seven pieces and filled up the living room walls of my apartment, I stopped. Suddenly the blank canvas just scared me. There is one unfinished painting I left hanging on the easel and I don’t know how and when to finish it.
Days of empty pages passed by
But not with empty thoughts,
Not with an empty mind.
The good thing about that incident is it led me back to writing. I just need something to do to keep my hands and my mind busy in between those empty spaces.
Space. It made me understand some things I would have never understood if I just keep on going. Perhaps I needed that time of absence from writing to gather and organize my thoughts, so I have something to write now that I have returned. And when it is time for me to need that space again, the unfinished painting in the easel awaits for me to complete it.
Spaces between words and lines and paragraphs in a written composition are important to achieve clarity. And sometimes we need more space, so we need to move back, to take a better view of a painting.
Between people, we seek that space so we can breath and understand each other better.
Space. It still scares me. But now I understand.
I wish you well ~ Jeques